oh, well, i guess things could have turned out worse. i was caught shoplifting razors and skincream at the pharmacy and this totally bitchy lady pharmacist started chewing me out, so i lit a cigarette and just blew smoke in her face the whole time. then this weird chubby guy saw me and he asked if he could take my picture, so i said yeah, sure, but he'd have to call my agent if he wanted to publish them or put them on the internet, and also he'd have to pay for the shit i stole. he took pictures of me posing and i asked if he'd like to take some pictures of me while eating (i was fucking starving), and he said sure, but later, so i gave him my number. after he left, i followed him and pretended to bump into him by accident at circus. i ended up going to his apartment and trying on some gucci, dead and naked monkey stuff he just bought. i tried to make a run for it while he was in the bathroom, but when i got out i realized i had dropped my chanel shades in his stairs, so i ran back but he caught me and started crying and yelling and saying he was gonna get two of his friends to rape me, which was totally not cool, so i threw my skincream jar at him and ran to the bar that's called like a number or something, 22 or 25 i think. i got lucky when i went to the bathroom and discovered the guy's wallet in the pair of guccis i stole. it had about 10 000 icelandic moneys in it, so i bought some cosmopolitans and one of those weird bacardi things you can buy in a small bottle and got pretty hammered. eventually i got thrown out for offering to massage the barwoman's tits and sat outside smoking when i ran into some guy who started talking to me about his band, which was called palindrome, so i tell him i used to be in a band called palindrome, and he says no shit and offers me a joint which we share. i pass out in an alley, but wake up when johnny starts shaking me and he's all covered in blood and saying that some black guy stabbed him for having sex with his girlfriend in the bathroom of the cafe next to hotel borg. he isn't hurt so bad, though, so we walk back to my place and pass out. all's well that ends well, i guess.